


farz

by asmaanixx



Category: Ishq Mein Marjawan 2
Genre: F/M, Internal Conflict, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:29:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29527827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asmaanixx/pseuds/asmaanixx
Summary: Riddhima is conflicted over where her duty lies: to her husband, or to the mission that was given to her by Kabir.
Relationships: Riddhima/Vansh Raisinghania
Kudos: 3





	farz

Farz.  


Ishq.

Both four letters.

Both carrying their own heavy weights.

Riddhima struck a match, and lit a diya.

She solemnly gazed at the only family she has known - her Bappa.

She didn’t need to explain everything that was happening to her. He already knew. She just wished he could help her out of her predicament using simple words, rather than her having to figure it out herself.

_ Bappa, Kabir ne kaha hai ki mujhe farz ko chun na parega. But uske liye uska farz sirf apne desh ke liye hai. Achi baat hai. Lakhon ki raksha karta hai, aur unki hifazat ke liye woh har roz apni jaan dau pe lagata hai. _

__

_ But Bappa, yeh sab Kabir ne apne liye chuna hai. Uski marzi thi police mein dhakal hona. Desh ke liye beintehaa pyaar Kabir ko hai, mujhe nahi. _

She looked down at her mangalsutra.

__

_ Mera sab se bada farz shaadi ki taraf hona chahiye na. Maana ki jab shaadi hui thi, tab mera koi irada nahi tha usse nibhana ka. Par meine Vansh ki achayi dekhi hai. Woh itna bhi bura toh nahi ho sakta. Kya uski achayi sirf dikhane ke liye thi? _

She thought back to all the times she saw concern in his eyes. Was he really that great an actor that he was able to conjure up such sincerity towards her?

She remembered his mother’s anklets, and lehenga.

_ Nahi. Vansh kehta toh hai ki usse farq nahi parta, but usse parta hai. Varna apni Maa ki har ek cheez aise sambhal kar kyun rakhta? Aur phir mujhe kyun deta? Woh apni Maa ko aise thodi na use kar sakta hai. _

She thought of how Daadi had essentially called Ragini a gold digger. But if that was the truth, then why would Vansh be taking care of her? Unless he lied to Daadi. And if he can lie to his own grandmother, then he can lie to anyone.

Riddhima slumped down even further.

_ Vansh, why are you making this so hard on me? I want to believe you. Dil se, dimaag se, rooh se, bas tum par yakeen karna chahti hoon. But tumhara yeh chilaav karne nahi dera. Tumhare kis chehra par yakeen karu? Woh chehra jo gusse se bhara hota hai, aur sirf takleef dena jaan tha hai. Ya woh chehra jo pyaar ka ek naya matlab sikha tha hai. Jo narm baatein bhi kar sakta hai. _

She looked behind her as footsteps approached her.

It was the man himself.

“Time dekha hai tumne? So na nahi hai kya?” He asked.

Riddhima turned back around. “Mein Bappa se baatein kar ri hoon.”

She heard his exasperated sigh. “Jo bhi puch na hai, mujhse puch lo. Kyunki yeh moorti bol ne se rahi.”

Irked, she said, “Agar tumhe sach bol na aata na Vansh, toh mein zaroor tumse puch thi. But kyunki tum se yeh hone se raha, mein apna time waste nahi karna chahti.”

She didn’t care to double check, but Riddhima was certain that Vansh had left. Even if he hadn’t, he could stand there all night. Maybe being in Bappa’s presence will give him some wisdom.

Her hands folded in her lap, Riddhima closed her eyes.

_ Bappa aap please Vansh ko thodi si akal de di jiye. Mein jaanti hoon ki woh bahut hoshiar hai, but jis raaste pe woh chal ra hai, mujhe teekh nahi lag raha. Zyaada kuch toh nahi jaanti, but jitni bhi khabar hai, mujhe bahut darr lag tha hai. Jab bhi bahar jaata hai, bandook lekar jaata hai. Ab aap hi bataye, kaunse shareef business meetings mein guns ki zaroorat par thi hai. _

She grasped her mangalsutra again.

She couldn’t even get herself to solidify the horrifying thought. 

_ Bappa  ** please ** , Vansh jo bhi raaste par ho, uski please aap hamesha raksha karte rehna. Kuch mat hone dena. _

She opened her watery eyes.

The man she had been praying for came to sit beside her.

She refused to look at him.

Despite her prayers, and concerns about him, she knew she had to walk around eggshells with him. One wrong move, just one wrong word, and he would erupt like a volcano.

She gently pressed the skin underneath her eyes so that her tears wouldn’t fall. She had been about ready to get up, when Vansh held her hand, and stopped her. She still didn’t look at him.

“Tumhare bhagwan ke samne baithe hai Riddhima. Mein tumhe kuch bhi puchu, sach bolo gi?”

She finally looked at him.

Nothing but distrust in his eyes. Yet, there was a very thin sliver of hope. Or maybe she was just being wishful again. Deceiving herself into believing what she wanted to believe.

“Haan.”

She was in front of her Bappa after all. With Him as her witness, how could she possibly say anything but the truth?

“Aur tum?” She asked. “Tumhara toh koi bhagwan nahi hai. Agar mein tumhe kuch puchu, toh tum kiske liye sach bolo ge?”

It took him a moment to answer, but when he did, it was with a simple, “You.”

She looked away, touched by his words.

Still, she had to be cautious. What if this too was just a lie? He didn’t believe in God. What reason would he have not to lie before Him?

In a small voice, she said, “Pucho.”

“Bappa se kya baatein kar ri thi?”

She took in a deep breath. “Vansh yeh mere aur mere Bappa ke beech ki baat hai.”

“Agar mera zikr kiya gaya tha, toh mujhe haq hai jaane ka ki kya baatein ho rahi thi.”

Riddhima kept quiet for a few moments before she answered truthfully. “Farz ke baare puch rahi thi.”

“Anything in particular?”

She nodded. “Patni ka farz.”

She thought of telling him exactly what her thoughts were, but she decided against it. After all, he didn’t ask.

“Jawab mila?”

She shook her head.

“Shaadi ke saat vachan yaad hai tumhe?” He asked.

“Saare nahi. Kuch kuch.”

“Look them up.” He advised. “It’ll help.”

Looking at him for a long moment, she asked him, “Tumne mujhse shaadi kyun ki?”

“Because I didn’t trust you.”

Riddhima’s eyes watered.

He asked, “Why did you marry me?”

She too, replied, “Because I didn’t trust you.”

A sad smile graced his lips.

He looked away.

After a moment he asked, “Do you think we ever will?”

Her lips quivering, Riddhima gave her answer in a broken voice, “I hope so.”

He looked at her with saddened eyes. “So why don’t you?”

“Because you’ll kill me.” She cried.

“And if I say I won’t?”

“You’ll never forgive me.”

“If I do?”

“You won’t.” She gave him a rueful smile.

“But what if I do?” He insisted.

“You won’t ever trust me.” She managed to say over a huge lump in her throat. “You might forgive me, maybe even love me, but never trust. And that won’t be fair to you, because I know how important that is for you.”

He pulled her hand close to his chest. “Mere liye kya important hai aur kya nahi, yeh tum decide nahi kar sakti. Leave that to me.”

“Am I important to you?” Riddhima isn’t sure why she asked him that. What if he said that she wasn’t?

He brought her hand up to his lips, and lightly kissed it. “Bahut.”

Riddhima closed her eyes. She should be happy, and she was. But she was also disheartened.

With a sad smile, she said, “Doosra aur teesra.” When Vansh looked confused, she clarified. “Shaadi ke vachan. Mujhe doosra aur teesra yaad hai. Zindagi mein jo bhi mushkil aur takleef aaye, pati aur patni dono mil kar solve karenge. Ek doosre ki dhaal, aur takhat ban kar ek doosre ka saath dete rahenge. Ek doosre ke ilava kissi aur ke baare mein sochenge bhi nahi.” She placed a hand on his cheek. “Sirf ek doosre ke rahenge.”

Vansh leaned closer so that their foreheads touched.

“Puri tarah se Riddhima.” He whispered. It was Riddhima’s turn to be confused. “Ek doosre ko  _ puri  _ tarah se apnayenge. Mein tumhe puri tarah se apnane ke liye tyaar hoon. Can you do the same?”

Riddhima pulled away.

All of his niceties? Yes. She’s ready to accept them with an open heart. But his darkness? She wasn’t sure.

How can she accept a criminal as her husband? Wouldn’t it go against her duty as a human? As a citizen of the nation?

She glanced at Bappa.

He too lived a life with violence. And when needed, had actively participated in it as well.

But Bappa was a God. They lived by different rules, and were morally justified.

She glanced at Vansh.

What if his actions were morally justified too?

Settling with an answer, she said, “Ek dum nahi kar sakti. Waqt lagega.”

Vansh accepted her words with a nod.

He stood, and extended his hand out for her.

Riddhima looked at him, and wondered if this would be the last chance they will be giving each other. As she slid her hand into his, she vehemently disagreed. No matter what it took, she would make sure that her marriage stayed intact. She watched as Vansh led them to their bedroom. She smiled, and silently thanked Bappa. She may not have gotten all the answers she was seeking, but she did get the most important one.

She doesn’t have to choose one between farz and ishq. For her, they were both one and the same. And they were right in front of her.


End file.
